How Can I Serve You?

The fifth love language, according to author Gary Chapman, is acts of service – doing things for the other person, especially things to assist with their load. Most of us are very busy these days, and it really takes an effort to make the time to do something for your loved one, but that just shows you how powerful acts of service can be.

Some examples are cooking dinner, washing the car, doing the laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the tub, offering to repair something around the house, going to the grocery store, bringing home dinner. Any act of service says to the other person “I care about you and I want to help you.” When your mate is overloaded, the simple phrase “What can I do to help?” is music to their ears. It means you are willing to take the time to stop whatever you are doing to help lighten their load.

Isn’t that what love is all about? Didn’t Jesus say “Bear one another’s burdens”? We all get overwhelmed at times, and if your love language is acts of service, it really means a lot when someone lends a helping hand. Today, if you are looking to enrich your relationship, take a good look around and see what you can do to help lighten your mate’s load. They will feel better and you will, too!

How Can I Serve You?

The fifth love language, according to author Gary Chapman, is acts of service – doing things for the other person, especially things to assist with their load. Most of us are very busy these days, and it really takes an effort to make the time to do something for your loved one, but that just shows you how powerful acts of service can be.

Some examples are cooking dinner, washing the car, doing the laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the tub, offering to repair something around the house, going to the grocery store, bringing home dinner. Any act of service says to the other person “I care about you and I want to help you.” When your mate is overloaded, the simple phrase “What can I do to help?” is music to their ears. It means you are willing to take the time to stop whatever you are doing to help lighten their load.

Isn’t that what love is all about? Didn’t Jesus say “Bear one another’s burdens”? We all get overwhelmed at times, and if your love language is acts of service, it really means a lot when someone lends a helping hand. Today, if you are looking to enrich your relationship, take a good look around and see what you can do to help lighten your mate’s load. They will feel better and you will, too!

Love Languages – Part 4

The fourth love language is quality time; spending one on one time with your mate or partner.

Gals like to do things like shop, get their nails done, go for a massage. They love it when their partner wants to join them in these things. Guys, on the other hand, like to do physical activities such as biking, hiking, skiing, rock climbing, motorcycle riding. They love it when their woman wants to join them in these activities. I have also noticed that men that like to watch sports like their woman to be there with them while they are watching the big game.

So, what to make of these realities? Yes, I understand that going for a manicure or a massage or watching a football game might not be something you would like to do for YOURSELF. However, we are not talking about pleasing yourself here. We are talking about loving THE OTHER PERSON. The question to ask is not “How am I going to please myself?” but “How can I please my mate?”

In my opinion, women have a tendency to devote most of their time and energy to the kids, the house, and various other activities. By the end of the day, they have little time or energy to devote to their spouse who really needs her attention. Men have a tendency to put their jobs first, thinking that by saying “Look how hard I work for you” they are showing love. If your mate’s primary love language is quality time, she is going to value your time together more than your hours at the office working overtime.

So, dear ones, today, consider how much time are you spending with your loved one. If your relationship is faltering, plan an outing together, a picnic, a night on the town or even spend a quiet evening at home after a nice meal. It just may put the sparkle back in your love life!

Love Languages – Part 4

The fourth love language is quality time; spending one on one time with your mate or partner.

Gals like to do things like shop, get their nails done, go for a massage. They love it when their partner wants to join them in these things. Guys, on the other hand, like to do physical activities such as biking, hiking, skiing, rock climbing, motorcycle riding. They love it when their woman wants to join them in these activities. I have also noticed that men that like to watch sports like their woman to be there with them while they are watching the big game.

So, what to make of these realities? Yes, I understand that going for a manicure or a massage or watching a football game might not be something you would like to do for YOURSELF. However, we are not talking about pleasing yourself here. We are talking about loving THE OTHER PERSON. The question to ask is not “How am I going to please myself?” but “How can I please my mate?”

In my opinion, women have a tendency to devote most of their time and energy to the kids, the house, and various other activities. By the end of the day, they have little time or energy to devote to their spouse who really needs her attention. Men have a tendency to put their jobs first, thinking that by saying “Look how hard I work for you” they are showing love. If your mate’s primary love language is quality time, she is going to value your time together more than your hours at the office working overtime.

So, dear ones, today, consider how much time are you spending with your loved one. If your relationship is faltering, plan an outing together, a picnic, a night on the town or even spend a quiet evening at home after a nice meal. It just may put the sparkle back in your love life!

The Third Language of Love

Do you like to give gifts? Do you like to receive gifts? If so, your love language may be giving gifts.

Gift giving does not have to be expensive. Little things like a bouquet of flowers, a mug of his/her favorite coffee, perhaps a card or a note. Little things on a regular basis can certainly put the spark back in your relationship.

Giving gifts shows we are thinking about the other person, we care about them, and we made the time to purchase something we think they would like. Note that I said “purchase something we think they would like.” Many people give gifts, but I have noticed that they are giving gifts THEY would LIKE. When purchasing a gift for someone, you really have to think about them as an individual – their tastes, their likes, their personality.

How often have you received a gift and thought “Why are they giving this to me?” A few years ago, someone gave me a green pin cushion as a birthday gift. I was perplexed. I don’t have a sewing machine and I thought, either a) they were regifting it or b) they had no idea what else to get me. If you know someone well enough to feel comfortable giving them a gift, don’t you have enough information to get them something they either like or could use?

If you are going to give a give, realize that it takes a bit of thought; that’s what makes it special. I know the expression “It’s the thought that counts” and that is true, but if you want your gift to be meaningful, it is important to make sure the recipient likes it.

Until next time, try giving your loved one a surprise gift and see their reaction. You may be tapping into a new source of closeness between the two of you!

The Third Language of Love

Do you like to give gifts? Do you like to receive gifts? If so, your love language may be giving gifts.

Gift giving does not have to be expensive. Little things like a bouquet of flowers, a mug of his/her favorite coffee, perhaps a card or a note. Little things on a regular basis can certainly put the spark back in your relationship.

Giving gifts shows we are thinking about the other person, we care about them, and we made the time to purchase something we think they would like. Note that I said “purchase something we think they would like.” Many people give gifts, but I have noticed that they are giving gifts THEY would LIKE. When purchasing a gift for someone, you really have to think about them as an individual – their tastes, their likes, their personality.

How often have you received a gift and thought “Why are they giving this to me?” A few years ago, someone gave me a green pin cushion as a birthday gift. I was perplexed. I don’t have a sewing machine and I thought, either a) they were regifting it or b) they had no idea what else to get me. If you know someone well enough to feel comfortable giving them a gift, don’t you have enough information to get them something they either like or could use?

If you are going to give a give, realize that it takes a bit of thought; that’s what makes it special. I know the expression “It’s the thought that counts” and that is true, but if you want your gift to be meaningful, it is important to make sure the recipient likes it.

Until next time, try giving your loved one a surprise gift and see their reaction. You may be tapping into a new source of closeness between the two of you!

The Second Language of Love

According to author, Gary Chapman, there are 5 specific ways people give and receive love. Today I want to talk about the second love language – words of affirmation. This means giving praise, encouragement, saying “I love you”, “I appreciate you”, “I’m proud of you” and so on.

For some people, those three little words “I love you” have tremendous impact. “Oh, she knows I love her. Look how hard I work for her,” you might be saying to yourself. Guys, if words of affirmation is her love language, she needs to HEAR it from you directly. Same thing for you gals out there. The man in your life needs your affirmation and acceptance. He needs to HEAR how much you appreciate the things he does for you. I think we all need to make an effort to LOOK for each opportunities to praise and encourage our mate, partner, and children.

If this is your love language, chances are you give a lot of words of affirmation to others. We tend to give love in the way that we want to receive it, but that is not necessarily how the other person feels loved. If you are not sure, try speaking out words of affirmation on a daily basis and see what kind of effect it has on your significant other. Too often we are quick to criticize. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us in this regard: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Colossians 4:6 says “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Are my words seasoned with salt and pleasant to the ear and heart? Until next time, be aware of what you say and how you say it to others. You might just be surprised at how simple being kind can be!

The Second Language of Love

According to author, Gary Chapman, there are 5 specific ways people give and receive love. Today I want to talk about the second love language – words of affirmation. This means giving praise, encouragement, saying “I love you”, “I appreciate you”, “I’m proud of you” and so on.

For some people, those three little words “I love you” have tremendous impact. “Oh, she knows I love her. Look how hard I work for her,” you might be saying to yourself. Guys, if words of affirmation is her love language, she needs to HEAR it from you directly. Same thing for you gals out there. The man in your life needs your affirmation and acceptance. He needs to HEAR how much you appreciate the things he does for you. I think we all need to make an effort to LOOK for each opportunities to praise and encourage our mate, partner, and children.

If this is your love language, chances are you give a lot of words of affirmation to others. We tend to give love in the way that we want to receive it, but that is not necessarily how the other person feels loved. If you are not sure, try speaking out words of affirmation on a daily basis and see what kind of effect it has on your significant other. Too often we are quick to criticize. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us in this regard: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Colossians 4:6 says “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Are my words seasoned with salt and pleasant to the ear and heart? Until next time, be aware of what you say and how you say it to others. You might just be surprised at how simple being kind can be!