The Second Language of Love

According to author, Gary Chapman, there are 5 specific ways people give and receive love. Today I want to talk about the second love language – words of affirmation. This means giving praise, encouragement, saying “I love you”, “I appreciate you”, “I’m proud of you” and so on.

For some people, those three little words “I love you” have tremendous impact. “Oh, she knows I love her. Look how hard I work for her,” you might be saying to yourself. Guys, if words of affirmation is her love language, she needs to HEAR it from you directly. Same thing for you gals out there. The man in your life needs your affirmation and acceptance. He needs to HEAR how much you appreciate the things he does for you. I think we all need to make an effort to LOOK for each opportunities to praise and encourage our mate, partner, and children.

If this is your love language, chances are you give a lot of words of affirmation to others. We tend to give love in the way that we want to receive it, but that is not necessarily how the other person feels loved. If you are not sure, try speaking out words of affirmation on a daily basis and see what kind of effect it has on your significant other. Too often we are quick to criticize. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us in this regard: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Colossians 4:6 says “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Are my words seasoned with salt and pleasant to the ear and heart? Until next time, be aware of what you say and how you say it to others. You might just be surprised at how simple being kind can be!

The Second Language of Love

According to author, Gary Chapman, there are 5 specific ways people give and receive love. Today I want to talk about the second love language – words of affirmation. This means giving praise, encouragement, saying “I love you”, “I appreciate you”, “I’m proud of you” and so on.

For some people, those three little words “I love you” have tremendous impact. “Oh, she knows I love her. Look how hard I work for her,” you might be saying to yourself. Guys, if words of affirmation is her love language, she needs to HEAR it from you directly. Same thing for you gals out there. The man in your life needs your affirmation and acceptance. He needs to HEAR how much you appreciate the things he does for you. I think we all need to make an effort to LOOK for each opportunities to praise and encourage our mate, partner, and children.

If this is your love language, chances are you give a lot of words of affirmation to others. We tend to give love in the way that we want to receive it, but that is not necessarily how the other person feels loved. If you are not sure, try speaking out words of affirmation on a daily basis and see what kind of effect it has on your significant other. Too often we are quick to criticize. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us in this regard: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Colossians 4:6 says “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Are my words seasoned with salt and pleasant to the ear and heart? Until next time, be aware of what you say and how you say it to others. You might just be surprised at how simple being kind can be!

New Ways

Are things going the way you would like them to go in your life? Some things may be going just great, but then, there are those other areas that might not be so smooth.

I have noticed that when the Lord is trying to tell me something, I usually get the same uncomfortable feeling in various situations in my life. “Hmmm, this feels familiar,” I find myself saying and it causes me to pause and reflect. Lately, the Lord has been working on my speech. Believe it or not, there is great power in the words we speak.

For instance, yesterday my son was telling me how he didn’t get much done in his internship search last week. “Well, why not?” I immediately queried. The minute the words were out of my mouth, I realized I had said the wrong thing. Was that kind? Was it encouraging? Was it necessary? No, no, and no. If the answer to any of these questions is no, it is best not to even speak the words. There I was – treading on God’s territory – again.

As my son courageously set his boundary with me on the question, I uttered a pathetic excuse. “But I was only trying to understand you.” But really, I was reacting out of fear, right?

When will I learn? So a new post-it goes up in my house. Whenever I am trying to retrain myself in a certain area, I post a sticky note to remind me. It’s a simple trick that is very effective.

Today is a new day. God’s mercies are new every day and thankfully my son has learned to let go of things. He has so much to teach me and I thought I was the one teaching him 🙂

New Ways

Are things going the way you would like them to go in your life? Some things may be going just great, but then, there are those other areas that might not be so smooth.

I have noticed that when the Lord is trying to tell me something, I usually get the same uncomfortable feeling in various situations in my life. “Hmmm, this feels familiar,” I find myself saying and it causes me to pause and reflect. Lately, the Lord has been working on my speech. Believe it or not, there is great power in the words we speak.

For instance, yesterday my son was telling me how he didn’t get much done in his internship search last week. “Well, why not?” I immediately queried. The minute the words were out of my mouth, I realized I had said the wrong thing. Was that kind? Was it encouraging? Was it necessary? No, no, and no. If the answer to any of these questions is no, it is best not to even speak the words. There I was – treading on God’s territory – again.

As my son courageously set his boundary with me on the question, I uttered a pathetic excuse. “But I was only trying to understand you.” But really, I was reacting out of fear, right?

When will I learn? So a new post-it goes up in my house. Whenever I am trying to retrain myself in a certain area, I post a sticky note to remind me. It’s a simple trick that is very effective.

Today is a new day. God’s mercies are new every day and thankfully my son has learned to let go of things. He has so much to teach me and I thought I was the one teaching him 🙂